For my country and my school, I pray...

I pray for systems that support people; that are thoughtful, comprehensive and have foresight for people's long term needs.

I pray for policies that not only keep in mind those directly impacted, but also those who have to implement them.

I pray for people's voices to be heard; for their questions to be answered.

I pray for courageous leaders who aren't afraid to make mistakes and stand for what's right, but who also aren't afraid of dissent and tough conversations. 

I pray that leaders trust the experts in their field and treat them like the valued professionals that they are, whether that be scientists or teachers. 

I pray that we can all stay optimistic through all of this, while fighting for what's important; we need that strength now more than ever.  

I pray that actions match the words of an elected or hired leader.  It is not enough to know what to say.  It is more important that your actions fit what you claim to value. 

Put me in, Coach!

When I was a junior in high school, an assistant volleyball coach, Aaron, pulled me aside one day, made me look him in the eyes as he said "You will be a starting middle this year". At that point I was not on the starting line up.  I was seemingly always a step behind my peers on the volleyball court and this was my first year on Varsity. I wasn't getting playing time during games at that point and felt a bit defeated, but he believed in me.  I was a strong blocker, an important part of defense, but not the skill everyone seemingly values.  At that level of volleyball people love to see a strong ace serve or powerful kill, both offensive skills.  I'm more of a behind the scenes person getting necessary work done in effective ways. 

A few games into my junior season, I'll never forget the gym or my coach Aaron, I was put in the game to fill in for a teammate who was struggling that night.  My coach never took me out.  My blocking game was on point and put me near the top of the section by the time I was a senior.  I was a valued asset to the team, but it took a bit longer to be recognized.  Ironically as I watch Big Ten volleyball when I cheer on my Minnesota Gophers the crowd goes wild with every block. At the elite levels of volleyball blocks are just as sacred and essential to the game. 

This is a pattern that holds true for me to this day.  There are many people around me who believe in me and my skills behind the scenes.  I'm blessed with colleagues who tell me they appreciate my voice when I speak up at meetings, who remind me I'm qualified for leadership positions, and encourage me to apply.  My skills haven't been valued yet to earn that promotion, but I know my time is coming and when it does I'll be ready and they won't ever want to take me out of the game. 

For now, I'll embrace the opportunities to lead that don't involve a promotion and believe that being in the classroom is the exact spot I'm meant to be right now.  Supporting a student teacher.  Creating structures for success in this online environment. Sending a letter to a student who just lost a family member to COVID-19.  Leading my PLC through building cohesive, supportive, online curriculum. Writing an MOU to ensure our union members are safe when they reenter the classroom.  These things are important too and I am exactly where I need to be....for now. 

What might we learn?

These are weird times.  In a normal year I'm teaching math to teenagers, but this year I find myself spending so much time teaching technology.  I have a love - hate relationship with technology.  I appreciate what it can be and how it creates spaces we've never had before, but I hate how it feels like we can't function without it.  This has always been the case with me and technology.

I'm grateful because I've had a knack for making sense of things and learning on my own, especially in the tech world. I don't actually know how to code, but I am darn good at stealing code and making it do what I want. I can teach online and I can do it quite well, but I don't really want to.

Now I find myself in this situation where I am so hyper dependent on my internet, computer, apps, the list goes on and on.... I don't like feeling like this.  I miss the days where the things I remember from class were the goofy kid who made me laugh. Instead I find myself leaving each day deflated that the technology let me down again and I couldn't even enter the breakout room to interact with the goofy kids. I know I'm not alone, but it's hard not to feel so heavy and wonder what's the point of it all. 

I'm thrust in this world of trying to save all my colleagues and trying to save myself and now I find myself trying to save my students as they've entered this black hole of technology with us this school year.

I'm so excited to connect with students in synchronous learning (Why in all things great and wonderful did the education world decide  ASYNCHRONOUS AND SYNCHRONOUS were better than LITERALLY anything else?!) but I find myself trudging through the mud of tech challenges.  That might never go away, but we'll find a way to connect anyway.  It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. 

This year will be HARD. But we can do hard things.  We can learn right along with our students.  We can find gratitude for what was and make way for new learning to happen. 

Blow it all up

Let's face it, we'll be in distance learning soon. It's a terrible way to teach and learn.  We lose all the wonderful parts of school, the human interaction, and replace it with screen time. 

We need courageous leaders now more than ever.  They need to be willing to blow up the traditional model to best support the needs of students and staff.  

How about this.

Right now, trimesters are 12 weeks with 6 classes.  What if we spend two weeks with each class and create courses that teach the essentials. We'd have to commit to a full trimester of this. We could do this distance based AND in a hybrid model.

WHY?

Kids and families would only have to focus on ONE class, ONE teacher at a time. We'd get to know our students and build strong relationships. 

Yes, it would be weird to not have an established "prep", but if we put our best into our two weeks of teacher workshop creating lessons and building out our courses, think of all the time we would free up to work and be with students. Let's say a teacher with period 1 prep teaches intermediate algebra, they could support the team in building out coursework online for our courses.  We could make wonderful, magical things happen in two weeks of learning with one group of 30 students.

What would that look like?

In my math class, I could have math talks every day with my class of 30 students, get them started on a desmos investigation and have them watch a video on their own. Then after lunch we'd come back for a group assignment instructions and I would let them get together to dig deeper in teams while I was on standby to support various teams.  

In an Art class, the teacher could hold class at school on occasion so the students could spend the day spinning pottery.

In Auto class, students could come to school and build an entire engine as a class after spending a part of each day learning about different components.

Science could have a few experiments each week in the classroom, in small teams, for the teacher to support them.

This most certainly would revolutionize how we teach and learn, but wouldn't it be great if a student who did get sick with COVID-19 only had miss a credit or two as they joined back up when it made sense for them? (Instead of the alternative of making up weeks of work for 6 classes.)

Now is the time to transform what we do.  

Why are we trying to fit a square peg in a round hole?  

Now is the time to blow it all up and make amazing things happen.  Let's seize this opportunity to be creative. 

Why this teacher has considered leaving the profession

When I can look around with gratitude at all the students doing math in my classroom I know I am exactly where I need to be.

Then there are times when the kids aren't around and I wonder what am I doing here?  Does this make me happy?   Is it all worth it?  Can I function in this environment for another year, another month, another day?

When we consider why good, great and even mediocre teachers leave the profession what the data reveals doesn't surprise me.  It's exactly the reasons I've considered leaving the profession. 

It isn't pay. None of us went into this profession looking to make lots of money. (29% of the teacher surveyed said pay was one of the factors they left)

It isn't the students.  Teenagers are weird, exhausting, wonderful, creative, sad, lovely people.  I adore them and all the complexities they bring to the table day in and out. (What percent?)

It isn't what teaching is.  It's what it isn't.

It hasn't been a place where teachers are considered professionals.  Look at the conversations around school board nominees in the last election.  I read countless posts on social media where people expressed their belief that teachers shouldn't be on a school board. One poster even stated that not having kids should make you less effective at being on a school board even if you are a teacher?  In what other profession do we not want the professionals at the table making the decisions?  A medical board should not be filled with just business people and patients.  It needs to include (and should primarily consist of) the professionals on the ground doing the work and seeing where there are issues.

Unfortunately good teachers learn to hunker down in their classrooms and focus on what they can control. They spend their energy on their group of students and ignore the rest. These good teachers are capable of doing so much more.  They can help build equitable schools, districts and communities.  They witness first hand the negative impact policies have on their students and are creative in thinking up solutions. 

Here's the irony.  This post (above) was drafted in November 2019.  We now find ourselves in the midst of the most challenging times in school planning, how to reopen schools during a global pandemic. And guess who is not at the table?  The teachers.  

Hunkering down in our classrooms isn't an option. Our health and the health of our students is on the line.  A committee of 20 with only 4 teachers just isn't adequate.  Conversations that talk about how to schedule our students with out looking at how to keep people safe first is completely backwards.  Typically when there is a policy that we don't agree with, we can make it work and work within the policy.  We can't do that now.  We can't hunker down in our classrooms and focus on what we can control without feeling like we are risking our lives. 

In normal times, teachers don't feel valued.  Right now, August 1st, 2020, it's especially hard to feel valued.

The Struggle is Real

How do I help students see that by struggling they are learning?  That you don't need to know everything. That in the game of life you don't have the answers you'll make lots of mistakes and you will forever have to learn something new.  That even when you feel like you've got it, life throws you a curve ball and you've got to regroup and start over.  That's what the best mathematicians do.  There are seldom easy answers if you are continually choosing to learn or branching out.  I used to wonder why weird things always happen to me.  My mom made a keen observation that it's because I'm constantly putting myself out there.  Whether it be through taking on a new job/role, trying a new workout or speaking up for something that matters to me, I find myself having to clear lots of hurdles.  It's tiring, but looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

This year I've had a few case managers reach out to me about their students feeling lost or worried about math class.  One such email detailed a student feeling like she wasn't doing well and that students around her were working at a faster pace, making her anxious she wasn't getting it.  Here's how I ended up responding. (The student's name has been changed.)

Thanks for touching base.  A couple things about class.  I create teams of students with a variety of levels so there will definitely be a mix at each table/team.  Often when all teams are putting their heads together on a single problem it is meant to be difficult for all students and that might be when Jenny really feels like she doesn't get it.  It is when they work in partners or solo that Jenny should use as a gage on whether or not she is keeping up in class. Homework is another good gage. I've learned this year that I need to be more explicit about this and have tried to reiterate that when they are working as a team on one problem that they will never see that difficult of a problem on an individual test, but that sort of problem is meant to stretch their abilities and get them talking about their thinking.  If Jenny feels better listening versus sharing her thinking, that is ok.  The only thing I'd encourage her to do is use the "question of the week" to ask her peers to better explain themselves.  Students are asked to use that question two times a week during class.  This is an easy in for her to hear more of her peers explain, in effect creating more teachers in the classroom and helping a student like Jenny learn more.  It won't seem weird when she asks the question because it is expected of them for credit during the week. (Granted, I am having difficulty getting kids to ask the questions so I am going to create a better incentive to do so this coming week).  

Also, I do grade classwork at the end of class based on "completion" I haven't noticed Jenny not being able to finish in time, but if that happens and she was working and it was an ability limitation versus a result of being off task during class, I make my best judgement and still give kids credit.  Jenny is rarely off task, but she doesn't often ask me questions when she doesn't get something.  So my only advice, if it is time in class that she is worried about to finish something, is to not be afraid to ask me a question.  I am constantly circulating during work time so it's not like she needs to ask it in front of the whole class or walk up to my desk.  

I hope that helps and I'll be sure to stop by Jenny's desk more often to encourage and steer her in the right direction if she gets stuck. 

 This email and the other conversation with a case manager made me realize the fear some students have about struggling.  Struggling is seen as bad.  How do we change this tide? I can say: "Confusion is part of learning." I can say: "productive struggle is part of learning" but that doesn't mean the students feel ok struggling.  Trauma informed educator training has taught me that some of this might just have to do with their lives outside of school.  I, personally, can handle struggle because my life, all in all, is good, stable and not to mention the success I've seen through struggle.  Students who have had trauma might shut down when it's difficult.  I equate it to being hit where you already have a bruise. It hurts twice as much making you steer clear of that struggle for fear of perpetuating the bruise that already exists.   While knowing this might create compassion and empathy, it doesn't help me create a culture of valuing struggle.  How do I do that?

For now I'll keep focusing on living the values of struggle = good in class and ensuring they see success through the struggle. Because by finding success through something hard they will be more willing to struggle another day and push through the difficult times to find the success on the other side.

Integrating Norms Into the Classroom

Last year I discovered these norms from Sarah at MathEqualsLove.blogspot.com that I did a mediocre job of teaching and reinforcing throughout the school year.  I appreciate that they reinforce what makes a good mathematician and what makes a good math class.  This year I made an early commitment to properly introduce each one and let them be a part of my language in class.  Week two I chose the following norms to reinforce and thread throughout the week.

Confusion is part of learning.
This one was a welcome surprise to reinforce.  The name tents each day during week one gave space for students to reflect on the activities we did each day.  Naturally, students in each class made a remark saying something to the effect of: "the class was confusing today, but our team got it".   Jackpot!  I started Monday discussing this observation and introducing the three norms for week 2.  Be ok with confusion, I told them. It means there's something to learn.

No one is done until everyone is done.
On most Wednesdays and Thursdays we only see three of the six classes, making our classes 86 minutes long instead of the regular 57 minutes.  I often utilize this time in smaller chunks to keep the kids on task and give us all a breather during what feels like a longer school day.  This week I took the time to introduce a structure called "Find Someone Who".  We played structure in a fun way at first.  The instructions were to get a bingo, 5 in a row, by finding classmates who fit the characteristics.  Once you had a bingo, go back to your seat.  What was wonderful, was that the norm came out naturally in this activity.  One student finished quite quickly and took a seat.  Other students kept coming up to him to ask him a question and he participated.  After time was up, I debriefed with the students highlighting how no one is done until everyone is done.  Even though you might finish, you still contribute to your classmates.  We followed up the fun icebreaker by doing the same structure with solving equations which led us into the final norm for the week.

Helping is not the same as giving answers.

For the equation round of Find Someone Who, students got a card with an equation on it. (I made 12 different equations that resulted in one of six solutions).

Step 1: students had to find someone who had the same card as them and solve that equation together.  They then became the expert of the card they had and could lend support to their classmates.

Step 2: Find all six answers on their paper and solve the equation that matched the answers they were missing.  Get help from the person with the card if you are stuck.


The key here was to discuss how counterproductive it would be to just give the full solution.  Helping is not the same as giving answers. There were a few kids who were copying, but I just redirected them and reminded them that they would never cheat on a test so they shouldn't do this on a day of practice either. It was so fun to walk around and hear them explaining to their classmates a difficult step.  I effectively had each student become another teacher in the room for their problem.

While I'm proud of how the week turned out, let's not pretend it was all sunshine and roses.  I literally forgot to plan a lesson after having to be out Tuesday and no prep Wednesday and I had to scramble during my lunch period.  I had to be honest with kids that Wednesday that I just wasn't myself and forgive me for mediocre work. Not surprisingly, they rolled with the punches, so to speak, and we survived the afternoon.