A Happy Beginning

Sorry, but I'm not excited.

As I enter back into the classroom after two years as a TOSA one question keeps popping up from all those around me, "Are you excited?" (I sure wish I had kept count of the number of times I've been asked that question in the last week.  There have been other questions that have perpetuated my return, but those aren't worth mentioning here.)  I have had a tough time answering that.  I would say around a month ago, or maybe a couple months ago, I was excited. But lately I'm just happy.  Happy that I'm going back to the classroom. When I hear the word excited, I feel a bit overwhelmed because of what I think excited means. (I'm so excited and I just can't hide it.  I'm about to lose control and I think I like it....) For that reason, I can't say the word excited when it comes to describing how I am feeling. Should I be more excited at this point in the year, a day away from students arriving?

But, I am Happy.  

After a particularly tough year professionally and personally, I am happy to get back to the root.  To the why.  Why do I do this work?  I look forward to the day I can look around the classroom and see so many students doing math, talking about math.   I get to orchestrate that in my classroom and that makes me happy.  I am grateful for the autonomy, purpose and mastery that being a teacher entails. (Thank you for your research, Daniel Pink!)  I've learned this past year that these traits in a job are key to my happiness and ability to thrive in a job.   I have the autonomy to create Vertical Non-Permanent Surfaces (insert: whiteboards) in my classroom to get kids standing, talking and working together each and every day.

I can transform how I do homework to make it meaningful to students. (Anyone have a strategy here?  Still unsure on what that looks like, but I refuse to give up searching for a better way.)  Purpose: there is an obvious purpose in being an educator.  Mastery is a trickier one because, as most veteran teachers know, there isn't an obvious level a teacher reaches where she can say "I've mastered teaching".  I'm sorry, but that just doesn't exist.  Teachers live for the little opportunities to show mastery.  I mastered this lesson today.  I mastered getting student X to ask a question before giving up.  I mastered keeping all the kids alive today. (See, it's the simple things.) These mastery points are readily present and keep us going, not to mention keep us coming back year after year.

So here's to another year filled with opportunities to learn and be happy.