The Struggle is Real

How do I help students see that by struggling they are learning?  That you don't need to know everything. That in the game of life you don't have the answers you'll make lots of mistakes and you will forever have to learn something new.  That even when you feel like you've got it, life throws you a curve ball and you've got to regroup and start over.  That's what the best mathematicians do.  There are seldom easy answers if you are continually choosing to learn or branching out.  I used to wonder why weird things always happen to me.  My mom made a keen observation that it's because I'm constantly putting myself out there.  Whether it be through taking on a new job/role, trying a new workout or speaking up for something that matters to me, I find myself having to clear lots of hurdles.  It's tiring, but looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

This year I've had a few case managers reach out to me about their students feeling lost or worried about math class.  One such email detailed a student feeling like she wasn't doing well and that students around her were working at a faster pace, making her anxious she wasn't getting it.  Here's how I ended up responding. (The student's name has been changed.)

Thanks for touching base.  A couple things about class.  I create teams of students with a variety of levels so there will definitely be a mix at each table/team.  Often when all teams are putting their heads together on a single problem it is meant to be difficult for all students and that might be when Jenny really feels like she doesn't get it.  It is when they work in partners or solo that Jenny should use as a gage on whether or not she is keeping up in class. Homework is another good gage. I've learned this year that I need to be more explicit about this and have tried to reiterate that when they are working as a team on one problem that they will never see that difficult of a problem on an individual test, but that sort of problem is meant to stretch their abilities and get them talking about their thinking.  If Jenny feels better listening versus sharing her thinking, that is ok.  The only thing I'd encourage her to do is use the "question of the week" to ask her peers to better explain themselves.  Students are asked to use that question two times a week during class.  This is an easy in for her to hear more of her peers explain, in effect creating more teachers in the classroom and helping a student like Jenny learn more.  It won't seem weird when she asks the question because it is expected of them for credit during the week. (Granted, I am having difficulty getting kids to ask the questions so I am going to create a better incentive to do so this coming week).  

Also, I do grade classwork at the end of class based on "completion" I haven't noticed Jenny not being able to finish in time, but if that happens and she was working and it was an ability limitation versus a result of being off task during class, I make my best judgement and still give kids credit.  Jenny is rarely off task, but she doesn't often ask me questions when she doesn't get something.  So my only advice, if it is time in class that she is worried about to finish something, is to not be afraid to ask me a question.  I am constantly circulating during work time so it's not like she needs to ask it in front of the whole class or walk up to my desk.  

I hope that helps and I'll be sure to stop by Jenny's desk more often to encourage and steer her in the right direction if she gets stuck. 

 This email and the other conversation with a case manager made me realize the fear some students have about struggling.  Struggling is seen as bad.  How do we change this tide? I can say: "Confusion is part of learning." I can say: "productive struggle is part of learning" but that doesn't mean the students feel ok struggling.  Trauma informed educator training has taught me that some of this might just have to do with their lives outside of school.  I, personally, can handle struggle because my life, all in all, is good, stable and not to mention the success I've seen through struggle.  Students who have had trauma might shut down when it's difficult.  I equate it to being hit where you already have a bruise. It hurts twice as much making you steer clear of that struggle for fear of perpetuating the bruise that already exists.   While knowing this might create compassion and empathy, it doesn't help me create a culture of valuing struggle.  How do I do that?

For now I'll keep focusing on living the values of struggle = good in class and ensuring they see success through the struggle. Because by finding success through something hard they will be more willing to struggle another day and push through the difficult times to find the success on the other side.

Integrating Norms Into the Classroom

Last year I discovered these norms from Sarah at MathEqualsLove.blogspot.com that I did a mediocre job of teaching and reinforcing throughout the school year.  I appreciate that they reinforce what makes a good mathematician and what makes a good math class.  This year I made an early commitment to properly introduce each one and let them be a part of my language in class.  Week two I chose the following norms to reinforce and thread throughout the week.

Confusion is part of learning.
This one was a welcome surprise to reinforce.  The name tents each day during week one gave space for students to reflect on the activities we did each day.  Naturally, students in each class made a remark saying something to the effect of: "the class was confusing today, but our team got it".   Jackpot!  I started Monday discussing this observation and introducing the three norms for week 2.  Be ok with confusion, I told them. It means there's something to learn.

No one is done until everyone is done.
On most Wednesdays and Thursdays we only see three of the six classes, making our classes 86 minutes long instead of the regular 57 minutes.  I often utilize this time in smaller chunks to keep the kids on task and give us all a breather during what feels like a longer school day.  This week I took the time to introduce a structure called "Find Someone Who".  We played structure in a fun way at first.  The instructions were to get a bingo, 5 in a row, by finding classmates who fit the characteristics.  Once you had a bingo, go back to your seat.  What was wonderful, was that the norm came out naturally in this activity.  One student finished quite quickly and took a seat.  Other students kept coming up to him to ask him a question and he participated.  After time was up, I debriefed with the students highlighting how no one is done until everyone is done.  Even though you might finish, you still contribute to your classmates.  We followed up the fun icebreaker by doing the same structure with solving equations which led us into the final norm for the week.

Helping is not the same as giving answers.

For the equation round of Find Someone Who, students got a card with an equation on it. (I made 12 different equations that resulted in one of six solutions).

Step 1: students had to find someone who had the same card as them and solve that equation together.  They then became the expert of the card they had and could lend support to their classmates.

Step 2: Find all six answers on their paper and solve the equation that matched the answers they were missing.  Get help from the person with the card if you are stuck.


The key here was to discuss how counterproductive it would be to just give the full solution.  Helping is not the same as giving answers. There were a few kids who were copying, but I just redirected them and reminded them that they would never cheat on a test so they shouldn't do this on a day of practice either. It was so fun to walk around and hear them explaining to their classmates a difficult step.  I effectively had each student become another teacher in the room for their problem.

While I'm proud of how the week turned out, let's not pretend it was all sunshine and roses.  I literally forgot to plan a lesson after having to be out Tuesday and no prep Wednesday and I had to scramble during my lunch period.  I had to be honest with kids that Wednesday that I just wasn't myself and forgive me for mediocre work. Not surprisingly, they rolled with the punches, so to speak, and we survived the afternoon.

New School Year: 2019-2020

Here we are...another school year.  This marks year 16 in education for me.  I'm excited; I'm terrified; I'm happy; I'm exhausted; I'm exhilarated.  I'm ready, I think.

Today I went to a TERRIBLE training provided by our district.  I can honestly say it was the worst training I've ever witnessed in the last 15 years of my career.  All secondary teachers spent two hours of our lives in an auditorium attempting to learn.  The content may have been valuable (it's hard to tell), but the execution and delivery of the content was bad.  Thankfully during the training I read the Marshall Memo and completed some housekeeping.

Books continue to provide such an inspiration for me and open me up to changing my teaching practice.  I've been reading Necessary Conditions by Geoff Krall and Becoming the Math Teacher You Wish You Had by Tracy Johnston Zager over the last year and they get me excited to add on to my skills, to expand what I do with students to become even better year after year. I don't need a training when I have amazing books to improve my practice.

Commitments for this year  

None of them will be easy. They don't happen naturally, but I'll do my best!

1. Students will talk more than me in class (about math, of course!)
2. Students will truly work together on difficult math. 
3. I will reflect here, on the blog, monthly (at least).

Relationships and Expectations

Week one of school I will use the Name Tents and 1-100 activity as detailed on Sara VanDerWerf's blog to start the year off on the right foot.  The goal is to show students I care about a relationship with them and we will learn to work together and talk in this classroom. I want to actively care, not passively care as described in the book, Necessary Conditions. Geoff Krall thankfully explains the difference here if you don't have access to the book.

If I want students to talk I need to make opportunities to do so and teach them how. A quote that stood out in Necessary Conditions was a teacher reflecting on doing arithmetic Number Talks in an algebra class.  She stated "...I certainly find a through-line between the Number Talks we have regularly and the conversations that occurs while students are working on a more complex problem or in groups" (page 73)  By Friday we'll do our first round of number talks to make it a weekly tradition at the very least, with more occurring in the beginning of the year.

Each week I will introduce a few more norms that I adopted last year from Sarah Hagan's blog, Math Equals Love.  I want to build upon expectations (not dump them all on the students in a day) and reinforce them as I go.  I've learned that reinforcing quality group work and teaching expectations does wonders in the classroom.  I'll bring out the sticks by week two to reinforce the norms and create accountability as a team.

So there it is, my commitment to start the school year.  Onward! ~Sawubona~

Why people can't be replaced with computers....unless we let them.

Recently I ordered pantry items from a new company.  I was excited to have my favorite items delivered and at a 25% discount.  Woohoo!  Oh, wait, the discount maxes out at $20, darn!  Nonetheless I purchased $118.58 worth of items and saved $20.  I'm thrifty because I have expensive taste but on a teacher's budget.  You do what you've got to do when you care about what food you put in your body.  

When the package arrived I did something unheard of (for me at least), I compared the packing list to the items in the box and I was missing a $3.95 tube of toothpaste.  I checked again and sure enough, no toothpaste.  Darn!  

I signed into my account online and proceeded to chat with the customer service rep.  He was great and quickly issued me a refund of $3.52.

$3.95 Subtotal-$0.67 Discount (Extra 25% off, cap at $20)$0.24 Tax$3.52 Grand Total

Hmmm, that didn't seem right.  Thankfully I figured out that I really only saved 16.9% (not 25%) per item and $0.67 is 16.9% of $3.95, but wait a second, why was I missing out on the full $20 savings that I should have earned?  That seems unfair since I wasn't returning something, but rather they were correcting a mistake.  

I wasn't satisfied and I made that clear to the customer service rep.  It is silly to argue for a $0.67 refund, but to me it was the precedent being set.  The rep blamed it on the system automating the refund and stated he understood what I was saying and would pass it on to his supervisors, but there was nothing else he could do.

Why have a customer service representative available if they can't actually reason and make matters right?  Since when do we let the system be in control.

There isn't a one size fits all recipe for refunds when discounts are capped like this. The system isn't trained to adjust when a special case arises.

Context also matters. 

This was their mistake, completely.  I shouldn't lose out on a simple $0.67 savings because the system automated the refund.   What if the item that didn't ship was worth $17.99? Now I'd be missing out on $3.04 of my original capped savings of $20.  

Perhaps the people should do some thinking and be able to override the system and make it right, taking into account context and special circumstances.

If I automated how I did things as a dean of students or a teacher (like the system) then I wouldn't care that the reason a student misses school so often is to take care of a mentally ill father who she fears will hurt himself in her absence.  The system would tell me to revoke her open enrollment status because she missed x number of days (insert sarcasm).   Never mind that she has adults in the building that are helping her work through some insanely heavy stuff that has happened to her as a young girl, on top of caring for a sick parent. That would be context.  

But, context does matter.  The student who is gone so often demands us to do better and consider her situation before throwing the system (aka the book) at her.   

A simpler case is why kids wear their hoods over their heads despite the no hoods rule.  Context matters.  Are they wearing a hood to shield their identity or their inebriated state?  Or are they wearing a hood to cover their nappy hair so their peers don't give them grief?   Yes, I want their hoods off so I know who they are and can keep intruders out and the school safe.  But, how we approach them about this rule: "TAKE OFF YOUR HOOD" versus "Please, take off your hood so I can see who you are" can make a world of difference.  The former can result in power struggles.  The latter might enlighten us to when they need a little compassion.  

The bottom line is that one size doesn't fit all.  We can't have the exact same response for every student.  We need to know the context if we are really interested in their success.  Computers can't always make sense of context.  Could we train the computer to take into account multiple factors like capped discounts, probably.  In my experience, however, we rarely do.  We need people to do that work.  Real, thinking people.

Back to School

I ♡ MY JOB.

I love getting to know all types of students. I started the year conversing with all 125 of my students, back and forth with each of them over the first 5 days via name tents and the structure that Sarah Van Der Werf shared on her blog.  I learned that one student doesn't like to be touched, another has a sci-fi book he has been writing.  Some shared their fear of math or their enjoyment of how class was going so far in the first five days.  One said they lived with their grandmother. So naturally I tried to find out more information and learned of their struggles with their mom being out of the picture.  That first week quickly opened the door to understanding my students and who they are so we can get right into learning and trusting one another. 

I love being creative. I get to write lessons again.  I get to dig into amazing tools like Desmos and the treasure trove that is #MTBOS. 

Gosh I love seeing kids learn. Listening to them talk about math and noticing who gets it and who is listening intently to learn is so rewarding.  It's a bit magical when you think about it.  Does knowing whether something is a function or not really impact a kids capacity to succeed after high school?  No. But witnessing students recognizing patterns and coming to conclusions reminds me of what does matter and I get to be a part of that. How awesome is that?!

Collaboration is my jam. Having such a great group of colleagues to work with made it such a no brainer to want to teach again. They are insightful, supportive, smart, creative and truly care about kids. 

I get a 30 minute lunch every day! I get to sit around a table with many other teachers and take an actual break and eat sitting down. This is a big deal to me. I have done this more in the last two weeks than I had in the last three years of work. A big thank you to my union for the 30 minute duty free lunch.  It sure does a lot to improve one's sanity.

After three years as a dean of students and two years supporting teachers at the district level, I couldn't be happier to be back in the classroom where all the magic happens. My colleagues regularly say I look happier.  I always wonder how to take that but I know it's a direct reflection of being exactly where I need to be. Is it easy?  No. The first week I had to remind myself that I'm rusty and it won't always take so long to get all the work done.  (I seriously spent an hour on seating charts after school the first day and worked nearly 12 hour days the first week!) It might not be easy, but it sure is worth it. 

Why I sit at the table.

Regularly I find myself saying that if you told me five years I'd be in the position I am in today, I'd have laughed at you.

Negotiating for the Bloomington Federation of Teachers (BFT) - HA! 

Dean of Students - HA! 

Five years ago, I was hitting my stride as teacher.  I was constantly finding ways to innovate and ensure ALL kids learned.  I was digging deep into standards based grading, technology, interventions, formative assessments. I even think I was still coaching 9th grade volleyball and playing in tournaments every other Saturday.  But, like any go-getter, I found myself being tapped into more and more to participate in committees.  This brought me to the district as a curriculum coordinator four years ago where I really fell in love with supporting teachers.  My love of learning and supporting were married in that role and it felt good.  I felt compelled to go back to school and get my administrative license so that I might be ready to take whatever roles life held in store for me.

Then bad leadership led to the dissipation of the entire team that was built in my first year at the district.  We lovingly called ourselves the dream team as we watched all that we had believed in and work for crumble.  It was then that I turned to my union leaders for guidance.  Should my emails be getting screened, I asked. No. Does she have a right to demand I "repeat after her",  I asked.  No.  I knew through all of the chaos that I was going to be ok.  I had a job at Kennedy after the dissolution of the department and the backing of the union to ensure I wasn't wrongfully terminated or discriminated against for simply having a dissenting opinion. It was then that I realized I wanted to give back and get involved in the BFT.  

So I joined the Negotiations Advisory Committee (NAC) just over two years ago to help gather the necessary information from our members and create contract language for the team to bring to the table.  Being the go-getter that I am, I quickly found my niche building agendas and keeping the team focused (no offense guys, but we are really good at tangents--myself included). I felt purpose once again.  I love my teacher colleagues.  They do amazing work.  Not unlike the children we teach, they are doing the best they can day in and day out and deserve hardworking people sitting at the table ensuring they won't be anymore overworked then they already are.  They deserve a voice who listens in order to speak for them.  I learned quickly I had something to offer as we went to the negotiating table.  A fresh perspective, a knack for numbers and the audacity to not only listen but to also speak up and ask the tough questions.

Over twenty years ago I ran off to my bedroom crying.  My sister and her friend were making fun of  the deaf Miss Alabama and her voice as she competed for the Miss America title.  I was outraged, but they just kept laughing.  I stood up for this person I didn't even know because it's what I do.  I stand up.  I speak up.

Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised I am in the position I am in today after all.

Parallel

This morning as I watch the news regarding the firing of the Attorney General I can't help but see the parallels of our current leadership with that of my previous job. I was told in the second meeting with two new supervisors "I encourage you to not say that you disagree". I called the meeting to share my discontent with how my work was rapidly changing and I didn't agree with (understand) the direction of the work. I'm a creative thinker, not a blind follower. I have a strong sense of what I believe is right.  Sally Yates has an obligation to uphold the CONSTITUTION not executive orders. While Attorney Generals are appointed by our President, they do not report to the President. They report to the constitution; they defend the Constitution.

The situation in my former job had no Constitution. My personal constitution is to hold true to my word. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I made a commitment to support a site in great work around standards and swiftly I was told no, you won't be doing that. Of course I am going to disagree with you when you tell me I cannot be me and hold true to my word. Then on top of that I wasn't allowed to email ANYONE without getting approval by my boss. 

 
Sadly our president is taking our nation on a path similar to the one my team experienced. If our boss was made to look bad we were reprimanded and cast aside even more. I guarantee you I would have been fired rapidly if it wasn't for the fact I have due process as a tenured teacher. I don't sit idly by when I am cast aside for disagreeing. 

 
Hopefully the president will help us unify as a nation.  The road will be rough, there is no doubt about it.  People will be (in fact they already are) hurt in the process, but we will get a better sense of who we are and what we stand for in the process.  

 
I say this because of what I know now, two school years later about myself.

Year One

I must have been a mess last year. No, I WAS a mess last year. This isn't news to me. Coming off a terrible year in my previous role with threats of reprimand letters in my file, canceling all the committees and professional development I was in charge of, and getting my emails screened I started the year excited to begin teaching in 2015. The Dream Team that was in 2014 dismantled in a year. (By the way, these people who made my year miserable were asked to move on from our district.)

Then it all changed in October 2015. I get this new job and I literally had no clue what I was doing. A packet of three pages is not enough to help a person deal with the complexities of student discipline. I always felt like I was inadequate and people were talking about my inadequacies, not to me, but to people around me. My previous year of paranoia seemed to roll over a year and infiltrate into another year. It was the toughest two years of my life. I kept asking what the hell am I doing here?

Year Two

Then this new year happened. I had a summer that included two weeks of true time off. I prepped my house to be sold, unloading one of the sources of anxiety I harbored for years. I took a class that reignited my passion for doing this work. I attended professional development, essentially surrounding myself with people who are passionate about doing this great work in education. My team here at school shifted and was redesigned. We settled our teacher contract after 15 months of negotiations.


I actually like my job now.

The reason I am realizing I was a mess is because of what people are saying to me this year. (But again, let's be honest, I knew last year I was a mess. I just didn't know how to clean myself up.)

"Jes, I'll be honest, I thought you were stuck up. But now I know you are one of the good ones." 

"Jes, you've really grown into the position this year." 

"You're definitely happier this year."

I hate that I got into such rut so as to lose who I am. I'm a person who smiles at people. I'm someone who can laugh at themselves. Someone who has fire and passion behind what I am doing and saying. Someone who doesn't whine when things get hard, but who buckles down and makes it happen.

This feels like the year I get to be my imperfect self. The work is hard, but worthwhile and rewarding. My team is supportive and they challenge me to be better. Our results prove our effectiveness. Referrals are down 10% in trimester one alone. Individual students are getting 12% fewer referrals than they were last year in trimester one.  IT IS WORKING and I couldn't be more thrilled to be doing this work. 

Artwork below by fidgeting students in my office.