New School Year: 2019-2020

Here we are...another school year.  This marks year 16 in education for me.  I'm excited; I'm terrified; I'm happy; I'm exhausted; I'm exhilarated.  I'm ready, I think.

Today I went to a TERRIBLE training provided by our district.  I can honestly say it was the worst training I've ever witnessed in the last 15 years of my career.  All secondary teachers spent two hours of our lives in an auditorium attempting to learn.  The content may have been valuable (it's hard to tell), but the execution and delivery of the content was bad.  Thankfully during the training I read the Marshall Memo and completed some housekeeping.

Books continue to provide such an inspiration for me and open me up to changing my teaching practice.  I've been reading Necessary Conditions by Geoff Krall and Becoming the Math Teacher You Wish You Had by Tracy Johnston Zager over the last year and they get me excited to add on to my skills, to expand what I do with students to become even better year after year. I don't need a training when I have amazing books to improve my practice.

Commitments for this year  

None of them will be easy. They don't happen naturally, but I'll do my best!

1. Students will talk more than me in class (about math, of course!)
2. Students will truly work together on difficult math. 
3. I will reflect here, on the blog, monthly (at least).

Relationships and Expectations

Week one of school I will use the Name Tents and 1-100 activity as detailed on Sara VanDerWerf's blog to start the year off on the right foot.  The goal is to show students I care about a relationship with them and we will learn to work together and talk in this classroom. I want to actively care, not passively care as described in the book, Necessary Conditions. Geoff Krall thankfully explains the difference here if you don't have access to the book.

If I want students to talk I need to make opportunities to do so and teach them how. A quote that stood out in Necessary Conditions was a teacher reflecting on doing arithmetic Number Talks in an algebra class.  She stated "...I certainly find a through-line between the Number Talks we have regularly and the conversations that occurs while students are working on a more complex problem or in groups" (page 73)  By Friday we'll do our first round of number talks to make it a weekly tradition at the very least, with more occurring in the beginning of the year.

Each week I will introduce a few more norms that I adopted last year from Sarah Hagan's blog, Math Equals Love.  I want to build upon expectations (not dump them all on the students in a day) and reinforce them as I go.  I've learned that reinforcing quality group work and teaching expectations does wonders in the classroom.  I'll bring out the sticks by week two to reinforce the norms and create accountability as a team.

So there it is, my commitment to start the school year.  Onward! ~Sawubona~

Why people can't be replaced with computers....unless we let them.

Recently I ordered pantry items from a new company.  I was excited to have my favorite items delivered and at a 25% discount.  Woohoo!  Oh, wait, the discount maxes out at $20, darn!  Nonetheless I purchased $118.58 worth of items and saved $20.  I'm thrifty because I have expensive taste but on a teacher's budget.  You do what you've got to do when you care about what food you put in your body.  

When the package arrived I did something unheard of (for me at least), I compared the packing list to the items in the box and I was missing a $3.95 tube of toothpaste.  I checked again and sure enough, no toothpaste.  Darn!  

I signed into my account online and proceeded to chat with the customer service rep.  He was great and quickly issued me a refund of $3.52.

$3.95 Subtotal-$0.67 Discount (Extra 25% off, cap at $20)$0.24 Tax$3.52 Grand Total

Hmmm, that didn't seem right.  Thankfully I figured out that I really only saved 16.9% (not 25%) per item and $0.67 is 16.9% of $3.95, but wait a second, why was I missing out on the full $20 savings that I should have earned?  That seems unfair since I wasn't returning something, but rather they were correcting a mistake.  

I wasn't satisfied and I made that clear to the customer service rep.  It is silly to argue for a $0.67 refund, but to me it was the precedent being set.  The rep blamed it on the system automating the refund and stated he understood what I was saying and would pass it on to his supervisors, but there was nothing else he could do.

Why have a customer service representative available if they can't actually reason and make matters right?  Since when do we let the system be in control.

There isn't a one size fits all recipe for refunds when discounts are capped like this. The system isn't trained to adjust when a special case arises.

Context also matters. 

This was their mistake, completely.  I shouldn't lose out on a simple $0.67 savings because the system automated the refund.   What if the item that didn't ship was worth $17.99? Now I'd be missing out on $3.04 of my original capped savings of $20.  

Perhaps the people should do some thinking and be able to override the system and make it right, taking into account context and special circumstances.

If I automated how I did things as a dean of students or a teacher (like the system) then I wouldn't care that the reason a student misses school so often is to take care of a mentally ill father who she fears will hurt himself in her absence.  The system would tell me to revoke her open enrollment status because she missed x number of days (insert sarcasm).   Never mind that she has adults in the building that are helping her work through some insanely heavy stuff that has happened to her as a young girl, on top of caring for a sick parent. That would be context.  

But, context does matter.  The student who is gone so often demands us to do better and consider her situation before throwing the system (aka the book) at her.   

A simpler case is why kids wear their hoods over their heads despite the no hoods rule.  Context matters.  Are they wearing a hood to shield their identity or their inebriated state?  Or are they wearing a hood to cover their nappy hair so their peers don't give them grief?   Yes, I want their hoods off so I know who they are and can keep intruders out and the school safe.  But, how we approach them about this rule: "TAKE OFF YOUR HOOD" versus "Please, take off your hood so I can see who you are" can make a world of difference.  The former can result in power struggles.  The latter might enlighten us to when they need a little compassion.  

The bottom line is that one size doesn't fit all.  We can't have the exact same response for every student.  We need to know the context if we are really interested in their success.  Computers can't always make sense of context.  Could we train the computer to take into account multiple factors like capped discounts, probably.  In my experience, however, we rarely do.  We need people to do that work.  Real, thinking people.

Back to School

I ♡ MY JOB.

I love getting to know all types of students. I started the year conversing with all 125 of my students, back and forth with each of them over the first 5 days via name tents and the structure that Sarah Van Der Werf shared on her blog.  I learned that one student doesn't like to be touched, another has a sci-fi book he has been writing.  Some shared their fear of math or their enjoyment of how class was going so far in the first five days.  One said they lived with their grandmother. So naturally I tried to find out more information and learned of their struggles with their mom being out of the picture.  That first week quickly opened the door to understanding my students and who they are so we can get right into learning and trusting one another. 

I love being creative. I get to write lessons again.  I get to dig into amazing tools like Desmos and the treasure trove that is #MTBOS. 

Gosh I love seeing kids learn. Listening to them talk about math and noticing who gets it and who is listening intently to learn is so rewarding.  It's a bit magical when you think about it.  Does knowing whether something is a function or not really impact a kids capacity to succeed after high school?  No. But witnessing students recognizing patterns and coming to conclusions reminds me of what does matter and I get to be a part of that. How awesome is that?!

Collaboration is my jam. Having such a great group of colleagues to work with made it such a no brainer to want to teach again. They are insightful, supportive, smart, creative and truly care about kids. 

I get a 30 minute lunch every day! I get to sit around a table with many other teachers and take an actual break and eat sitting down. This is a big deal to me. I have done this more in the last two weeks than I had in the last three years of work. A big thank you to my union for the 30 minute duty free lunch.  It sure does a lot to improve one's sanity.

After three years as a dean of students and two years supporting teachers at the district level, I couldn't be happier to be back in the classroom where all the magic happens. My colleagues regularly say I look happier.  I always wonder how to take that but I know it's a direct reflection of being exactly where I need to be. Is it easy?  No. The first week I had to remind myself that I'm rusty and it won't always take so long to get all the work done.  (I seriously spent an hour on seating charts after school the first day and worked nearly 12 hour days the first week!) It might not be easy, but it sure is worth it. 

Why I sit at the table.

Regularly I find myself saying that if you told me five years I'd be in the position I am in today, I'd have laughed at you.

Negotiating for the Bloomington Federation of Teachers (BFT) - HA! 

Dean of Students - HA! 

Five years ago, I was hitting my stride as teacher.  I was constantly finding ways to innovate and ensure ALL kids learned.  I was digging deep into standards based grading, technology, interventions, formative assessments. I even think I was still coaching 9th grade volleyball and playing in tournaments every other Saturday.  But, like any go-getter, I found myself being tapped into more and more to participate in committees.  This brought me to the district as a curriculum coordinator four years ago where I really fell in love with supporting teachers.  My love of learning and supporting were married in that role and it felt good.  I felt compelled to go back to school and get my administrative license so that I might be ready to take whatever roles life held in store for me.

Then bad leadership led to the dissipation of the entire team that was built in my first year at the district.  We lovingly called ourselves the dream team as we watched all that we had believed in and work for crumble.  It was then that I turned to my union leaders for guidance.  Should my emails be getting screened, I asked. No. Does she have a right to demand I "repeat after her",  I asked.  No.  I knew through all of the chaos that I was going to be ok.  I had a job at Kennedy after the dissolution of the department and the backing of the union to ensure I wasn't wrongfully terminated or discriminated against for simply having a dissenting opinion. It was then that I realized I wanted to give back and get involved in the BFT.  

So I joined the Negotiations Advisory Committee (NAC) just over two years ago to help gather the necessary information from our members and create contract language for the team to bring to the table.  Being the go-getter that I am, I quickly found my niche building agendas and keeping the team focused (no offense guys, but we are really good at tangents--myself included). I felt purpose once again.  I love my teacher colleagues.  They do amazing work.  Not unlike the children we teach, they are doing the best they can day in and day out and deserve hardworking people sitting at the table ensuring they won't be anymore overworked then they already are.  They deserve a voice who listens in order to speak for them.  I learned quickly I had something to offer as we went to the negotiating table.  A fresh perspective, a knack for numbers and the audacity to not only listen but to also speak up and ask the tough questions.

Over twenty years ago I ran off to my bedroom crying.  My sister and her friend were making fun of  the deaf Miss Alabama and her voice as she competed for the Miss America title.  I was outraged, but they just kept laughing.  I stood up for this person I didn't even know because it's what I do.  I stand up.  I speak up.

Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised I am in the position I am in today after all.

Parallel

This morning as I watch the news regarding the firing of the Attorney General I can't help but see the parallels of our current leadership with that of my previous job. I was told in the second meeting with two new supervisors "I encourage you to not say that you disagree". I called the meeting to share my discontent with how my work was rapidly changing and I didn't agree with (understand) the direction of the work. I'm a creative thinker, not a blind follower. I have a strong sense of what I believe is right.  Sally Yates has an obligation to uphold the CONSTITUTION not executive orders. While Attorney Generals are appointed by our President, they do not report to the President. They report to the constitution; they defend the Constitution.

The situation in my former job had no Constitution. My personal constitution is to hold true to my word. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I made a commitment to support a site in great work around standards and swiftly I was told no, you won't be doing that. Of course I am going to disagree with you when you tell me I cannot be me and hold true to my word. Then on top of that I wasn't allowed to email ANYONE without getting approval by my boss. 

 
Sadly our president is taking our nation on a path similar to the one my team experienced. If our boss was made to look bad we were reprimanded and cast aside even more. I guarantee you I would have been fired rapidly if it wasn't for the fact I have due process as a tenured teacher. I don't sit idly by when I am cast aside for disagreeing. 

 
Hopefully the president will help us unify as a nation.  The road will be rough, there is no doubt about it.  People will be (in fact they already are) hurt in the process, but we will get a better sense of who we are and what we stand for in the process.  

 
I say this because of what I know now, two school years later about myself.

Year One

I must have been a mess last year. No, I WAS a mess last year. This isn't news to me. Coming off a terrible year in my previous role with threats of reprimand letters in my file, canceling all the committees and professional development I was in charge of, and getting my emails screened I started the year excited to begin teaching in 2015. The Dream Team that was in 2014 dismantled in a year. (By the way, these people who made my year miserable were asked to move on from our district.)

Then it all changed in October 2015. I get this new job and I literally had no clue what I was doing. A packet of three pages is not enough to help a person deal with the complexities of student discipline. I always felt like I was inadequate and people were talking about my inadequacies, not to me, but to people around me. My previous year of paranoia seemed to roll over a year and infiltrate into another year. It was the toughest two years of my life. I kept asking what the hell am I doing here?

Year Two

Then this new year happened. I had a summer that included two weeks of true time off. I prepped my house to be sold, unloading one of the sources of anxiety I harbored for years. I took a class that reignited my passion for doing this work. I attended professional development, essentially surrounding myself with people who are passionate about doing this great work in education. My team here at school shifted and was redesigned. We settled our teacher contract after 15 months of negotiations.


I actually like my job now.

The reason I am realizing I was a mess is because of what people are saying to me this year. (But again, let's be honest, I knew last year I was a mess. I just didn't know how to clean myself up.)

"Jes, I'll be honest, I thought you were stuck up. But now I know you are one of the good ones." 

"Jes, you've really grown into the position this year." 

"You're definitely happier this year."

I hate that I got into such rut so as to lose who I am. I'm a person who smiles at people. I'm someone who can laugh at themselves. Someone who has fire and passion behind what I am doing and saying. Someone who doesn't whine when things get hard, but who buckles down and makes it happen.

This feels like the year I get to be my imperfect self. The work is hard, but worthwhile and rewarding. My team is supportive and they challenge me to be better. Our results prove our effectiveness. Referrals are down 10% in trimester one alone. Individual students are getting 12% fewer referrals than they were last year in trimester one.  IT IS WORKING and I couldn't be more thrilled to be doing this work. 

Artwork below by fidgeting students in my office.

Thanksgiving Blessing

This thanksgiving I feel blessed to be surrounded by a team who strives to create capable students.  Students who not only feel like they can do the math in geometry class, but who also feel as if they can handle girl drama, family tragedies, or no food for dinner.  Resilient students who rise above their circumstances and learn to navigate this unpredictable world. Students who understand how to learn despite all the noise of life around them.

Recently, out of anger, a student put another student in a headlock during class.  This came on the heals of the student teasing the other and taking it too far.  A common playfulness between two boys went awry when one student just snapped.  Upon talking to the student who placed the headlock, he shares that he had a terrible night.  You see, he has no record of any sort of aggression.  He doesn't get sent out of class for being defiant and gets good grades.  The night before, however, his father was arrested.  He witnessed the whole ordeal.  I could have simply yelled at this student and sent him off with his consequence, but I have found that simply asking questions creates a much better learning opportunity.  This is true for any person.  We can either jump to conclusions, reprimand and redirect without ever learning why or we can ask questions and get to the heart of what is going on.

So many students have cried in my office.  It has honestly shocked me.  When one on one, these hard, disengaged students reveal their true colors.  They are hurting.  They are lost.  They feel forgotten.  They feel misheard.  They feel beaten down by stereotypes and discrimination.  They feel in over their head.  I seriously wonder whether I know what I am doing and how I got into this position.  Where did I learn to console a student who finally confided that he is simply sad and too depressed to go to class?  Where did I learn how to talk to the girl known as a bully to remind her that she is better than that, that I believe in her?  Where did I learn how to listen intently and how to seek help as a student talks about harming themselves?  These are not things I was taught formally in school and I fear daily that I might mess it up.  But when we know better, we do better.

This weekend a student passed away abruptly from a medical condition.  When anyone passes away people often revert back to their last interaction with that person.  What were my last words?  How did the student feel leaving my office? Did they feel belittled, hopeless, and angry, or did they feel capable, reflective, heard and optimistic?  I hope it was the latter.  I know in my heart that the team I work with always strives to ensure the latter.  I am blessed with a team that seeks to understand and educate versus harm and belittle.  A team that doesn't want to show their power and dominance over students, but seeks instead to help the students know better and do better.

Somebody's child

As I go about my work as a Dean of Students it could be easy to lay down the law and assume all students have to abide by a particular set of rules.  That is simply not the case.  These are somebody's children.  My mom learned early in my life that I have to have more meals in the day or I would become a whiny baby.  She didn't know that when I arrived, she learned that through trial and error because, as my mom, she made it her mission to figure out what I needed. Our students have a unique set of needs we need to consider as well.  We mustn't assume they are just being bad to be bad.   We have to get to the root of the problem because, after all, they are somebody's child.  What would you want if  it were your child?

This isn't something I knew going into teaching.  The rules of school worked for me.  I lettered in academics, had opportunities to be challenged and opportunities to be successful.  But what didn't work for me was three big meals a day as a child.  I needed snacks, and that's ok. Nobody wants a hangry Jessi!  The same is true for students in our classrooms, hallways and communities.  As a Dean, my line gets drawn at safety and the integrity of the classroom; I make that known to students.  If you are making a class unsafe, making classmates feel unsafe, or if you are inhibiting the learning of others and compromising the integrity of the classroom, then something needs to change.  Additionally, it behooves me to ensure that while demanding safety and the integrity of the classroom that I find a way to educate the student.  They deserve an education too.  What would you want if it were your child?

So, when constantly thrust into the world of a couple of students who I find myself interacting with daily, I remind myself that they are somebody's child.  Somebody loves them and wants the world for them (and if that is not the case then it is my duty to show them I want the world for them).  As their educator, I have a duty to find a way to educate them and prepare them to have a prosperous life despite their need for an extra meal (or two) in a day.  What would you want if it were your child?