This thanksgiving I feel blessed to be surrounded by a team who strives to create capable students. Students who not only feel like they can do the math in geometry class, but who also feel as if they can handle girl drama, family tragedies, or no food for dinner. Resilient students who rise above their circumstances and learn to navigate this unpredictable world. Students who understand how to learn despite all the noise of life around them.
Recently, out of anger, a student put another student in a headlock during class. This came on the heals of the student teasing the other and taking it too far. A common playfulness between two boys went awry when one student just snapped. Upon talking to the student who placed the headlock, he shares that he had a terrible night. You see, he has no record of any sort of aggression. He doesn't get sent out of class for being defiant and gets good grades. The night before, however, his father was arrested. He witnessed the whole ordeal. I could have simply yelled at this student and sent him off with his consequence, but I have found that simply asking questions creates a much better learning opportunity. This is true for any person. We can either jump to conclusions, reprimand and redirect without ever learning why or we can ask questions and get to the heart of what is going on.
So many students have cried in my office. It has honestly shocked me. When one on one, these hard, disengaged students reveal their true colors. They are hurting. They are lost. They feel forgotten. They feel misheard. They feel beaten down by stereotypes and discrimination. They feel in over their head. I seriously wonder whether I know what I am doing and how I got into this position. Where did I learn to console a student who finally confided that he is simply sad and too depressed to go to class? Where did I learn how to talk to the girl known as a bully to remind her that she is better than that, that I believe in her? Where did I learn how to listen intently and how to seek help as a student talks about harming themselves? These are not things I was taught formally in school and I fear daily that I might mess it up. But when we know better, we do better.
This weekend a student passed away abruptly from a medical condition. When anyone passes away people often revert back to their last interaction with that person. What were my last words? How did the student feel leaving my office? Did they feel belittled, hopeless, and angry, or did they feel capable, reflective, heard and optimistic? I hope it was the latter. I know in my heart that the team I work with always strives to ensure the latter. I am blessed with a team that seeks to understand and educate versus harm and belittle. A team that doesn't want to show their power and dominance over students, but seeks instead to help the students know better and do better.
